HOW TO ADDRESS YOUR ENVELOPE

So you’re sending an invitation, a letter, an announcement, a holiday card, basically anything through the mail with someone’s name on it…what’s the right way to address it? Emily Post still sets the standard when it comes etiquette rules. We are often asked if you have to address it her way, and the answer is no! You get to decide your vibe and whether or not to address more formal or more modern. But since it’s always helpful to know the basics, here are some notes and circumstances that may help you decide how to address your mailing…

Married, Same Last Name

This is the most familiar and common way to address envelopes. Etiquette states the rule is not to separate the male’s first and last name.

Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Married, Different Last Name

You should list the AND between names to indicate marriage when a couple has different last names.

Mr. Christopher Baker & Mrs. Marla Smith
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Married, Kids Invited

The way you choose to address may be affected by whether or not you are using an inner envelope…
Outer Envelope Only: use last name and FAMILY to indicate the whole family (children included) are invited to both the ceremony and reception.

The Baker Family
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

If Using Inner Envelope: you only need to address the adults on the outer mailing, and on the inner envelope list each family member invited.

Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Baker
Charlie Baker
Adam Baker

If there are more than two children to list, replace names with AND FAMILY.

Single, with Guest

You can include AND GUEST on the outer or inner envelope. Pro tip: don’t include AND GUEST on the Save the Date to avoid awkward conversations or obligation in case a relationship changes.

Mrs. Marla Smith & Guest
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Divorced

A divorced woman who has kept her married name should be addressed as Ms. followed by First and Last name.

Ms. Marla Smith
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Widow

Traditionally a widow is addressed with title Mrs. followed by her deceased husband's first and last name. Best practice would be to contact the widow and ask how she wishes to be addressed.

Ms. Marla Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Couple, Not Married

Tradition is to place the names on two different lines, which indicates that they are not legally married. Also, if you are addressing to a man and woman couple who are not married, the woman's name should be listed first.

Ms. Marla Smith
Mr. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Same-Sex Married Couple, Same Last Names

You should include both first and last names, listing their names in alphabetical order (based on their first name). You could also or order of names based on who you know better. Be sure to include the AND to show that they are married.

Mr. Christopher Baker & Mr. Michael Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Same-Sex Married Couple, Different Last Names

You should include both their first and last names combined with an AND to show that they are married. You can also opt to add their desired prefix in front of the name (Mr. or Ms.) for more formality.

Mr. Christopher Baker & Mr. Eliot Hill 
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Titles: Mr. Mrs. Ms.

All single ladies can use either Ms. or MISS, but it’s commonly more appropriate for women over 18 to go by Ms.

MISS can be used for girls and MASTER for boys under the age of 13. Mr. is used for addressing to males thirteen and older.

For married ladies, you also have two options: Mrs. of course, but Ms. can be used for both unmarried and married women.

All titles should be spelled out, never abbreviated: DOCTOR, JUNIOR, REVEREND, etc.

Doctor

The title DOCTOR with first and last name, would then be followed by spouse’s title and first and last name.

Doctor and Mrs. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Doctor Marla Baker and Mr. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

If both addressees are doctors with the same last name, address the envelope to THE DOCTORS and their last name.

The Doctors Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Reverend

THE REVEREND followed by their first and last name. Don’t forget to include degrees for any pastors with doctorates.

The Reverend Christopher Baker and Mrs. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

The Reverend Marla Baker and Mr. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

To address a husband and wife who are both ministers, include THE REVERENDS with the wife's name first (so not to break the man’s first and last name).

The Reverends Marla and Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Government

Any guest addressed as THE HONORABLE should have the title listed before their full name on their invitation’s outer envelope.

The Honorable Dr. Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Return Address

Traditionally, whoever is hosting the wedding or event handles response cards.
If sent by the Bride and Groom who are living together: List the bride’s first and last name on line one, and the groom’s first and last name on line two.

Marla Smith
Christopher Baker
22 Flamingo Avenue
Palm Springs, California 92262

Address etiquette says the back flap is the preferred place for the return address.